Psalm 6

O Lord, don’t rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your rage.
Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak.
Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.
I am sick at heart.
How long, O Lord, until you restore me?

Return, O Lord, and rescue me.
Save me because of your unfailing love.
For the dead do not remember you.
Who can praise you from the grave?

I am worn out from sobbing.
All night I flood my bed with weeping,
drenching it with my tears.
My vision is blurred by grief;
my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies.

Go away, all you who do evil,
for the Lord has heard my weeping.
The Lord has heard my plea;
the Lord will answer my prayer.
May all my enemies be disgraced and terrified.
May they suddenly turn back in shame.


*I tend to be selfish when I'm going through a hard time. I feel like I'm the only one who has ever been sad and my problem is literally the worst problem that exists. Well, not true. These past few days, I have wrongfully been angry at God. I told Him so, too. I know He loves honesty, but let me tell you, he quietly humbled me, and reminded me that I do not need to be angry at Him. I need to open my eyes and be ready to face what He has for me. I was angry at Him and told him, and instead of coming at me with "the force" (Which He has every right to do.) He essentially hugged me and said "Get off your butt you fool. Take a hold of yourself. I love you more than anything." And I know that my God (more affectionately referred to as Yahweh) loves me more than I can even imagine. What an amazing thing to think about and dwell on, rather than dwelling on worry, doubt, fear, anger and disappointment. The Being who created literally everything you see, loves me. It can almost bring tears to my eyes. Granted, lately for some reason everything can. But you get the picture I hope. I am ALWAYS reminded of my favorite verse. Well I shouldn't say verse. More like my favorite chunk of scripture. It's Matthew 6:25-34.
Oh I have learned so many lessons.

God is a quiet teacher. For some weird reason, I'm forced to think of this example.. Just bear with me. I went to see "A Christmas Carol" in Manchester on time, and I thought of this one scene. Scrooge is just saying "WHY! Please tell me how to change! How can I prevent all of this from happening!" And the ghost of Christmas future(who is actually a giant statue in this play) just stands there, like any good statue would. But Scrooge is just yelling to him and asking him these things, but the ghost is silent. Scrooge knew. He just had to do it. The silence was painful.
So as I'm sitting there, literally yelling to God, I knew that He was just there, silent, telling me to just do something. He was not giving me a postcard or typed out letter on what to do. He said "I'm with you. Do something." So, needless to say I have learned a LOT.

....One more thing. I have a huge problem (maybe it's the poet in me, or maybe it's just a human issue in general.) I tend to take a verse and mold it to me. I try to apply every verse to my every situation, which is not what I should do. I need to take the word of God, look at the examples, and learn from them. Not look at a verse and say "Okay. What does this mean... How is it relevant. Why am I reading this.
I need to read things and take them for what they are. The Bible is God's word. And although you should look to it for advice, it is not an instruction manual and looking into the Bible with an agenda can be dangerous and insulting, I think.